


steven and the stevens redux.hmtl

by organicjacket



Series: now available at gergins off route 109 [1]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Post-Episode: s06e19 I Am My Monster, Self-Reflection, They both do, Together Breakfast, What-if Scenario, i just really wanted to write steven and his post corruption aftermath, lots of self-reflection, mini-steven deserves the best tbh, there's not really a consistent plot here, these two are goofballs and i love them, time travel (kinda???), yeah it deserves its own tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2020-11-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:26:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27425671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/organicjacket/pseuds/organicjacket
Summary: Steven poofs for the first time. (Alt Title: Steven forgets how small he was when he was younger).
Series: now available at gergins off route 109 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2003728
Comments: 10
Kudos: 59





	steven and the stevens redux.hmtl

“I didn’t know we could poof,” His younger self says next to him on the floor.

“I think it might be a coping mechanism or something like that.” Steven guesses. “The Gems are probably freaking out about it right now.”

Steven can’t poof, he knows that, the Gems know that, heck, even the Diamonds know that. Maybe this time was an exception. After all, he was technically badly injured (although most of it was internal damage).

It was a funny story really: after everyone had gathered together and ‘showed him some love’, he cried a couple of his healing tears and somehow found himself on the floor of his childhood beach house, arms spread out and his younger self (at age fourteen) poking him with a stick asking him if he was okay. At least this wasn’t in the top ten most traumatizing events that have ever happened to him. Oh yeah, just wait until the Gems hear about this. 

“I think they’d be more concerned about Ronaldo calling us ‘Godzilla’ on his blog. Maybe we’ll be in his next TubeTube video!” 

“Oh yeah? And what’s the title ‘ **Pink Godzilla attacks Beach City, Delmarva!!! NOT CLICKBAIT I SWEAR!!!** ’”

The two giggled at the thought of it. 

The laughter died soon after and the two fell back into a comfortable silence, bringing Steven back to his thoughts. He thought about how after continually breaking his bones and being emotionally scarred, he had never once poofed from the exhaustion that constantly bothered him every time he took a moment to think about it. He was always full of surprises, wasn't he?

“Steven,” Younger him sighs a minute later. “I’m sorry.” 

Steven turns towards his counterpart and raises an eyebrow. 

“For what?” 

“For letting us just bottle up our feelings instead of just telling our family and friends how we felt sooner.”

It took him a second but the gears in his mind slowly started turning again. He realizes that he’s been doing this for years, ever since he found out that he had a shield as a weapon. To hear his younger self-blame himself for the problems that just came with them as a side effect of being a hybrid kind of hurts physically.

“You don’t need to apologize, Steven.”

“But,” Mini-Steven continues. “It’s my fault that I got us into this mess! I turned us into a pink Godzilla! You’re not even supposed to be here, you’re supposed to be up there,” He gestures to the ceiling. “Probably having a dance party or a movie marathon. Not reliving the past.”

Did...did his past self expect _him_ to just forget about all of these things that happened to them at such a young age? Even after everything they’ve been through? Because, _wow_ , there’s a lot to unpack here.

He really, really didn’t want to think about it right now.

“Steven,” He looks over at the boy. “Is it lonely here by yourself?”

Mini-Steven stares at him incredulously.

“Huh?”

“I said: Is it lonely here by yourself?”

“I don’t-” The smaller of the two frowns. “I don’t understand?”

Once again, the younger version of him avoids the question about his well-being. 

(Sounds familiar, doesn't it?). 

Steven thinks about it for a moment, the beach house they were at was pretty empty, aside from the couch, windows, and his childhood loft. The only few hints the Gems had ever been there was the Warp Pad and the Temple’s doors. Then it hits him, this room- _his childhood home_ -was exactly how he felt, alone, empty, and sad. _Yikes_. His gem didn’t have to go this hard to make him feel even more isolated from the rest of society but it did anyways. ( _Thanks again Mom for ruining my life!_ ).

Then, Steven Quartz Cutie-Pie DeMayo Diamond Universe has an idea.

“Remember when we were younger and we tried to get the Gems to eat Together Breakfast with us.” He sits up this time and faces the boy. 

“You mean when we were twelve and it was the only thing keeping us together as a family but it got destroyed when it turned into a monster?” Mini-Steven sulks.

 _Oh_. 

(Steven could feel himself turning pink but swallows that feeling down as quickly as it came).

“No. Nope. Nuh-uh. No way. No. We are not doing this now.” Steven stands up and holds out a hand. “Come on, you sad sack. We’re going to make Together Breakfast and you’re going to like it.” 

It sounded more like a threat than a suggestion but it did the trick. Mini-Steven looks away from him for a moment (and Steven already knows what he’s thinking). Part of him wonders if he should go back on his suggestion, it was probably a dumb idea now that he’s trying to eat healthier.

“Are we actually going to eat it this time?” Mini-Steven jests, taking his hand.

“Only if it doesn’t turn into clouds,” He half-jokes. (And he really hopes it doesn’t). 

* * *

If Pearl was here, she would be screaming at them for the lack of symmetry in the waffles or popcorn.

(Both of them were thankful that neither of them had forgotten the recipe for their sugary disaster).

“It’s a good thing that the Chad version of ourselves isn’t here,” Mini-Steven laughs after placing a strawberry on top of their abomination.

“You’re seriously going to call our Diamond form ‘ _Chad_ ’?” Steven snorts and adds another strawberry to represent the two of them on top of the whipped cream. 

“Who wouldn’t? I think we were peak man back when Jasper trained us in the forest.” 

( _Don’t think about shattering Jasper. Don’t think about shattering Jasper. Don’t think about shattering Jasper. Don’t think about shattering Jasper. Don’t think about shattering-_ )

“When I get back, I should thank her,” The words come out of his mouth before he can produce a single thought. “That was probably one of the best workouts I’ve ever had.” 

(He should apologize to her too...if she’d ever want to speak with him again).

“Aaaannnndddd done!” Mini-Steven exclaims and gestures to their masterpiece once the final strawberry was placed. “Together Breakfast is now served!”

Steven wishes that he had his phone to take pictures of their concoction, it’s seen better days. (The syrup would likely give Dr. Maheswaran and Pearl a heart attack if they ever found out how much sugar was soaked into the waffles themselves). He’s starting to think that maybe this was a bad idea after all.

“If I reform and end up having a stomach ache, I’m blaming you.” He reaches in one of the cabinets and pulls out two plastic plates. 

Other him sticks his tongue out at him.

“Whatever, I’m not the one who suggested making this to help us feel better.”

Ah yes, childhood trauma coped with childhood wants.

And so they dug in...and it tasted...not bad...but not great either. Steven _loves_ sweets but, this ain’t it chief. When he had first taken a bite, the overwhelming feeling of nostalgia flashed back to him and it took all of his nonexistent willpower to not cry, he could tell his younger self was doing the same thing too. Life truly is beautiful. 

“Ugh, I can feel all of my teeth falling out…” Mini-Steven murmurs and stuffs another waffle into his mouth. In all honesty, Steven agrees that it feels like his teeth are going to fall out but this was the distraction he needed to not think about his problems and by the stars was he going to stick with it until further notice. “My cavities are going to have cavities!” 

“Relatable,” Steven gathers a couple of strawberries on his fork and smothers them with the syrup. “We’ve been eating junk since we were like eight, it’s a wonder why we don’t have dentures yet.”

“Okay but, are Fry Bits considered junk though?”

Steven ponders the thought for a few seconds.

“I mean, sure they’re a little greasy and leftovers from fries, but aren’t we doing ourselves a favor and toning down the starch?”

“Steven, that’s-” And Steven tries to come up with a logical answer for that question. “I-um, Steven-hm..." He can't come up with a great comeback after that. "Well, at least _admit_ that they’re a little bit unhealthy!”

“After all of the years saying ‘ _If every porkchop were perfect, we wouldn’t have hotdogs!_ ’ and I still became a vegetarian!” The younger Steven dramatically leans against his chair like the drama queen he is. “Oh, how shall I ever go on knowing that I can’t get Pepe’s Burgers for $5.95 anymore!?”

(They made veggie burgers now, so he’s not necessarily missing that much).

“First of all, calm down, you goof,” Steven laughs. He’d almost forgotten how much he’s changed ever since he dismantled the Diamond Empire, it’s a lot to take in, and it’s kind of freaking him out. “Secondly, I’m like a pseudo-vegetarian now, it’s not the same thing as avoiding meat altogether.”

“Same difference!” Mini-Steven groans and enjoys his waffles once more.

They’re going to attract flies if they don’t finish eating in the next five minutes. 

* * *

When they finished eating, Steven had suggested that they’d go outside and breathe for a moment, not only because neither of them wanted to do the dishes, but because they both needed this moment to just relax for a few minutes.

It was peaceful outside, nothing to fear, no one to fight, just him, himself, and the calming waves. There was no giant pink monster screaming bloody murder or a giant hand coming to yank them away to space jail and no giant crater that formed amidst broken picnic items after a rejected marriage proposal. Steven could only hope that this moment would last, but he knows deep inside that it can’t stay like that forever, things change, just like the ocean tides itself.

Talking to himself has a few benefits, it’s reminded him that he’s come a long way.

(It’s about time that he’s accepted that fact).

“To answer your question from earlier: Yeah, it does get pretty lonely here.” Mini-Steven brings him out of his thoughts. “The Gems are busy with getting some newly un-corrupted gems acquainted with modern society and soon, I’ll be going to space and helping the Diamonds draft a speech.”

That’s right, he finally realized why all this felt so familiar. It was a couple of days before he was supposed to be going back to Homeworld while the Gems helped their un-corrupted counterparts, he stayed at the Beach House and had time for himself. For those few days, he was left alone with his thoughts to process everything that’s happened and the ending result was bittersweet. (It sucked honestly, that no one was there to help process the emotions with him).

It's funny how his younger self is like a metaphor, he said earlier that he was responsible for them turning into a giant monster and that's kind of the half-truth. He was so used to helping people that he never thought of taking care of himself in the same way, all that self-blame for things that he had no control over just built up inside of him until he couldn't take it anymore. Being fourteen almost fifteen years old _and_ expected to liberate an entire galaxy full of loyalists was stressful as it was. (When was the last time his younger self ever had some fun?).

“You shouldn’t be going off into space alone, Steven.” Steven leans back on the sand with his hands. “Especially if you’re going to be around the Diamonds.”

“We never did tell the Gems what White did to us, did we?” The boy sighs softly.

Steven doesn’t answer this time, opting to wonder why he didn’t in the first place. Was it because he felt like the past was in the past and the only way to get over it was to force himself to forget about it? Or was it for the fact that he felt the need to be independent and didn’t want to disrupt the progress they were making? 

(He felt that if he did tell the others, then White would be poofed or shattered in a matter of seconds from the protectiveness of his family and he did not need to start another war right now). 

Steven considers his options for the time being. On one hand, he doesn't tell them what he's thinking and keeps it locked inside of his mind until he explodes one day and destroys himself and the earth, on the other, they would at least try to understand and they can all talk things out together. He will not run away and hide from his problems like **_she_** did. He's already lived through the outcome of those mistakes. 

“I’m going to tell them,” He breathes out. “I mean, they’re going to find out one way or another, but I can’t keep all of these emotions bottled up forever, because it’s only going to get worse.” 

(A callback to what happened a couple of hours ago proves that right).

“Thanks, me.” 

“No problem, me.”

Both of them lay back in the sand and gaze up at the setting sun above them. (When all of this is over, he should sit by the beach and play ' _Change Your Mind_ ' on his ukelele again). He feels himself getting lighter with each exhale, the sky turns a little bit pinker the more he stares at it. 

(If he reforms without his jacket, then it’s all over. The jacket is like one of the only things that ground him mentally).

"You deserve better. _We_ deserve better." Steven nudges his younger self gently. "Just remember to take care yourself better, for me.”

He’s then suddenly engulfed in a hug and tears fall into his shirt. 

“Yeah,” Mini-Steven smiles. “Okay.”

Steven returns the hug. 

* * *

When he blinks again, he’s in his bed and staring at the ceiling surrounded by the smiling (and crying) faces of those close to him. He’s back. A warm and fuzzy feeling overtakes him and he hugs himself. He needed that.

But, that feeling doesn’t last forever like he wishes it did, because his stomach hurts afterward.

"This is all on you, Steven." He tells himself and pushes past his audience running for the bathroom before he can lose his breakfast. 

(Mini-Steven laughs in the comfort of their gem. That was entirely worth it. He regrets nothing). 

**Author's Note:**

> *Thank the stars that Space Jesus finally got a therapist*


End file.
